sciencegrl's Blog

hmmm i never had a blog...

So i never had a blog before and had anyways wanted one soo wow :D new experiences everyday huh?
      well to start off... i am a person who has suffered depression for a longtime... i didnt feel like i was a person or anything at all. i was lost confused and just trying to fill something inside me that i couldn't. i needed everyone elses approval to feel like i was worth something, and i felt like i was all alone even though i was surrounded by a sea of people. i could do a lot of things well like play soccer. play piano. do some martial arts, dance, math, science, and other things like that but i never felt like i was anything, like i was nothing. and after a while i stopped. i stop doing the things i loved because i believed that i couldn't do it and because other thought i couldn't either. i was so frustrated and lost. i wanted to be the best and i thought that was the only way i could ever feel loved. but i never could.. and after a few years.. i thought i was a loser.
      i lost friends... but grades dropped... i started to lie....and i always wanted to show off even though it wasnt me. people didnt want to be around me and i lost all my close friends... everything in life was falling apart. i lost the person i was and i thought i could be that person again.
     then senior year of high school things changed.... things changed....

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hmmm i never had a blog..., posted December 13th, 2012

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